Your Tax Dollars at Work

MARYVILLE, Tenn. - A teenager was jailed for nine days after being accused of burning an American flag on the Fourth of July. He faces trial next month.

While the case could test a state statute against flag burning - an act the U.S. Supreme Court has said is protected under the First Amendment - prosecutors say Andrew Elisha Staley has yet to argue that he was exercising free speech rights. (Earth to Andrew: Argue free speech rights).

"Bottom line is, the kid got drunk," said Lisa Lee, his mom.

His father said the teenager "has no reason for anger against the United States" and could easily have ignited a garbage can instead of a flag. "He was brought up in church, and he knows right from wrong," Doc Staley said. (Your kid who was not brought up in church doesn't know shit, just in case you were wondering).

Doc Staley said his son has been "floundering around" since dropping out of high school. "This is where the drinking came in. And he's not very good at it," the father said.(A good point! Kids: If you are going to drop out of school and drink, get good at it! Drink up and then start yelling "free speech! U.S. out of my testicles! I am a pacifist!" This also might help a bit later when they are trying to drag your un-graduated, drunk ass into the military.)

Andrew was released from jail Thursday on his own recognizance while he awaits his Aug. 2 trial on charges of desecrating a venerated object, underage drinking, littering, evading arrest, burning personal property and theft.

Ah, Independence Day.